By Eva Dwight, BA, MEd, ACC
A Positive Discipline educator recently posted the observation that we all want our children to be good problem solvers…but we don’t seem to want them to have any problems. I thought that was really interesting, and so true. Why is that? Because there’s nothing harder, I think, than watching my child struggle. I want to jump in there and fix it for him so he can just have it easy and not get discouraged and…um…not learn any survival skills. Wait, that’s not what I want!
Part of it is the fear that he won’t be strong enough, resilient enough, confident enough in himself, to push through and make it work. And hand-in-hand with that fear comes the realization that if I want him to be strong enough, resilient enough, and confident enough, I need to let him struggle. Rather than fix the problem, I need to help him understand the choices he has in addressing the problem so he can fix it himself. It is my job to make sure he takes steps toward addressing the problem so he doesn’t get stuck in the belief that the matter is out of his control.